dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
