So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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