so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
