Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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