My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
