why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
