My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
