my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
