why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
