Moan for me like Helen Keller
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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