you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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