Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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