I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
