hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
