your room smells of hookers.
And success
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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