i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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