SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
