reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You need a sexual gate keeper
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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