trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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