She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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