after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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