you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
