Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
