is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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