Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
