Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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