shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I smell stomach acid.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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