Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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