there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
