I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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