yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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