these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
