Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
