How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
