So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
