i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
