next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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