How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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