But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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