Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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