i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
