VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize