Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
