Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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