I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
