I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
are you so shy because you have an std?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
