Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
