i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vagina is officially offended.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
