The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
