Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
