how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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